Patience. It’s the ability to endure difficult circumstances, the acceptance of a delay. It's a difficult practice to maintain, especially when expectations are only rooted in immeasurable unknowns. Adoption is filled with unknowns. Timing, relationships, expectations, & emotions. Patience is gleaned only in the art of surrender, loosening your grip on all of things you just aren’t able to control, trusting in the sovereignty of a God who knows all, sees all, and is working all things for our good and His glory. Kate shares her and Luke’s story of surrender here. I connected with Kate weekly through their journey to bringing home their son. I remember weeks of the highest hopes and weeks of moments of absolute surrender out of frustration, confusion, and grief. Patience and surrender. I was always so encouraged as they stepped into and said yes to the unknowns with courageous hearts, trusting in the sovereignty that had called them to the space they had so boldly entered. Mother’s Day this year was graced with the greatest gift, meeting sweet Teddy. Our adoption story started years before we actually began the adoption process. Back in 2009, when Luke and I were just dating, we talked about adopting down the line. We talked about how we would love to add to our family by adoption eventually, but really didn’t look into what that would be like. We married in 2014 and were thrilled to welcome Emma to our family after a rough pregnancy and delivery in 2018. We lost a pregnancy in 2019 but then were blessed to add Sammy to our family in 2020 after another difficult pregnancy. After discussions with my doctors, we were told we shouldn’t have another pregnancy for my health. It’s honestly surprising how much I personally felt called by God to adopt. It wasn’t a feeling I had really had before, being called to something this strongly. Both Luke and I are very risk adverse, and honestly adoption is not risk-free at all. But it all felt worth it. So we moved forward. We reached out to Christian Adoption Consultants at the recommendation of a friend in late June 2022 and officially began our adoption journey in July. But after a few months we entered the waiting period. And we waited. And waited. There were a lot of “no’s”. If God decides to teach you patience, putting adoption on your family’s heart is certainly one way to do it. Thank goodness for MacKenzie who checked in with me and kept me sane! Honestly, this was the hardest part for us. I’m not good at waiting and keeping still. Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God” has always been difficult for me. I like plans and movement. But adoption is about patience, waiting, and trusting God. It was a huge learning experience and growth period. On May 10, 2023, we received an adoption situation for a baby boy due June 8th. Something about it just felt so very right. A couple of days later, I got a call from the agency, the birth mom had chosen us! We thought we had a couple weeks to prepare, but we were wrong. We celebrated Mother's Day on Sunday, and decided to do some prep to get ready for the baby. Good thing, because I woke up to a call Monday morning that baby boy came early! So two and a half days after being chosen, we were rushing around and scheduling a plane ride to meet baby boy! Before meeting Teddy, we met his birth mom. She was so sweet. It’s hard to describe what it felt like to meet Teddy’s birth mom. There’s nervousness because you just hope that she’ll like you and feel like she made the best choice. But seeing her smile at Teddy and whisper that he’s with the best possible family and that she couldn’t have made a better choice? That’s an indescribable feeling. I wanted to finish with a quote that has been on our heart much of this adoption journey: “Whether your children are yours through biology or adoption, they are yours through love” (Sadia Rebecca Rodriguez). It couldn’t be more true. There isn’t a strong enough words to describe how much we all love and adore Teddy. Thank you, God, for adding Teddy to our family! -Kate Photos By: Angie Englerth Photography If you have any questions about adoption, I would LOVE to chat with you! Email or Text me. Let's connect!
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Every journey through adoption will look wildly different. There are so many unique pieces to every story, different souls blending together from different walks of life and experiences. However, what I find to be a commonality in such a diverse experience is that every person looks back and thinks, “This looks nothing like I thought it would.” With that being said, there is a demand for a level of trust that is hard to relinquish. Trust in perfect strangers, trust in the process, trust in professionals, in each other, and as believers, in the God who puts together the pieces of those unknowns. Robbie & Erin put their trust in all of the above as they walked through their journey to their son. It really all started from a simple job interview, where they met and the Lord spoke. And that interview eventually led them to the sweetest day of meeting their son. Their journey together didn’t look like they thought it would, but the trust they had led them their greatest gift. I hope you find encouragement wherever you are today. Maybe nothing looks like you thought it would, but that you find the strength to trust in the seen and unseen. We began the process in April of 2022. What we thought would be quick and easy home study, ending up taking many months due to government documents and background checks getting backed up. When we were finally approved and ready to began presenting, it was a relief to check off the "paperwork" box of our to do list. The first situation we received was on Erin's birthday. She had taken the day off of work and spent time setting up the nursery so it was perfect timing to truly start wrapping our heads around the thought that we would have a new addition soon. On this day, we also realized how much we didn't know what we were doing and how incredibly thankful we were to have MacKenzie to walk us through the situation, what to look for, and generally just be our cheerleader! We presented to that situation and after many weeks of waiting, got notified we didn't match. After that, several months went by and we started to feel a little discouraged. After a few pep talks from MacKenzie, we decided that we needed to do something for ourselves and took some time for a vacation and to enjoy the holidays. Shortly after the new year, we presented to another situation, but didn't match. A month later, we were up late watching a movie one night and got a phone call from a number we didn't have saved in our phones. It was an agency with an immediate placement to pick up from the hospital the next day. We told them we wanted to present, and an hour later, received a call that we were matched. We quickly got as organized as we could, knowing we had to hit the road just a few hours later. We arrived at the hospital late in the morning to meet the most precious, little 3 day old baby boy. There were several divine coincidences during the whole process but one of our favorites was the location he was born. We had seen and presented to situations all over the country. The hospital baby boy was born at was 30 minutes from a town we had just moved from a year and a half prior. One of our best friends was able to drive up and see us at the hospital while we waited and helped get us some supplies we had forgotten. We are so thankful to have had the peace that comes with familiarity on a day filled with so much emotion and uncertainty. God’s biggest teaching moment through this process was that his timing and plan are perfect. No matter how hard you try to control the scenario or you personally think this is the child for me, God knows better. He had our promise waiting and knew the joy that he would bring our family. The first time we held him in the hospital is a moment that we will never forget. Without a second thought, we knew he was our child and were beyond blessed that his birth mom chose us to raise her baby! - Robbie + Erin MacKenzie JulianeAdoption Consultant, Mama. Infertility carries a grief of its own. The loss of the idea of what you always thought would be, holding hurt and disappointment in the body you were given. It can be such a significant weight to carry when you can’t create a life inside of you like you always imagined you would be able to from the moment you shoved a pillow in your shirt as a little girl. Infertility seems to be such a prominent issue for an increasing number of hopeful couples. It can be driving force to consider other options for growing a family. After the first conversation I had with Lawrence and Alli, I remember feeling that grief. They had ventured down many of the avenues that infertility embraces. But even with all of the negative tests and losses, what I remember the most about our conversation isn’t grief. I remember the hope that they clung too in their lowest moments. Alli & Lawrence had a hope in their words as they asked questions and trusted in the process the Lord had led them to. Maybe it wasn’t what they had imagined as they walked their journey to becoming a family of three, but now, they look back and see the fulfillment of the promises the Lord had made to them in their wait. Their patience and endurance gifted them with a relationship with a woman who created a little girl who they have the privilege of calling theirs. Alli shares it best here. As I reflect on the journey that brought us our daughter, I’m overwhelmed at the realization that she was always God’s answer for us. We experienced five years of infertility treatments prior to pursuing adoption. Over those years, we sought multiple opinions, performed numerous tests and procedures, but never received answers to why I am unable to carry a pregnancy. Those years were filled with prayers that seemingly went unanswered, nights crying myself to sleep, and some days where I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed because the pain was just too much. There were moments where I would plead to God to take my desire to be a mother, to see my husband as a father, away if it was not meant to be. But, time and time again, I would feel a sense of “just wait, just be patient”, and I held on to that. I knew there was something big waiting for us, but I didn’t know when or how it was going to happen—until it did. We had contacted Christian Adoption Consultants during a time when our infertility treatments were on hold. MacKenzie reached out to us immediately and answered our questions. After a lot of self-reflection and healing, in January 2022, we were ready to start with CAC and pursue adoption whole-heartedly. We got right to work with MacKenzie. We completed everything we needed to as fast as we could. With so much excitement for next steps, we waited on the completion of our home study, but were met with delays. The agency, though wonderful to work with, had a large back log, so weeks turned to months with no progress. I recall speaking with MacKenzie during that time with frustration, and she was so reassuring that timing was everything. Looking back now, I realize just how right she was. In June of 2022, our home study was finally complete! We applied to eight agencies immediately, and debated applying to a ninth, but initially decided not to. We began receiving situations soon after, and we would discuss them in depth. In doing so, we learned so much about our desires and preferences. One situation we presented to, but were not selected, lead us to realize we wanted to apply to the one agency we passed on originally. So, in late July, I reached out to MacKenzie who helped us apply to that ninth agency. We submitted everything to them on August 5th, and was told it could take four weeks to be approved, so we were very surprised on August 10th when we received an email saying we were an active family with them. Just two days later, as I was packing up from work, my computer stalled, so as I waited, I pulled up that agency’s “available situations” page on my phone and was shocked to see that a situation had been posted that seemed to align with our wishes, and we excitedly decided to present. On August 15th, I woke up to an email informing us we had not been selected by this birthmother. The familiar feeling of discouragement came over me, and I almost closed the email too quickly. But there, in the next paragraph, it stated that there was a baby girl born the night before and the birthmother would be reviewing profiles that morning. I caught my husband, who was running late, just before he headed out the door. We reviewed the one-page summary about the birthmother and this baby girl. There were so many unknowns, and we didn’t have much time to think about it or ask questions. However, what was presented, were all things we had discussed in the numerous other situations we had reviewed. That day also happened to be my sister’s birthday, and the birthmother had the same name as her. I took that as a sign, and we took a leap of faith and presented. As I sat at my desk that morning, my mind kept drifting to thoughts of that baby girl. I prayed for her and the birthmother. I prayed that she would feel confidence and comfort in her decision, and in those moments, I felt so much peace. On my lunch break, something told me to start gathering our home study documents. I even grabbed our suitcases—all the while telling myself to not get my hopes up, but then, my phone rang and a contact I had just added five days before when we became active with this agency displayed on my screen. This was it! We had been selected by the birthmother and we would need to be there before the end of the night! The rest of that day was a blur. We scrambled to get on a plane within hours and arrived to our destination in the middle of the night. We got off the plane to a text message saying the termination of parental rights had been signed and we would need to be at the hospital early that morning. Nothing in the years leading up to that morning could have prepared us for the moment we met our daughter. The second we walked into her NICU room and saw her precious face, it was like all the weight and pain we had been carrying for years just went away. It was all for her—she was God’s promise to us. We were also blessed with being able to meet her birthmother. We were able to thank her for her strength and selflessness. We were able to see the love she holds for our daughter and hear about the life she wants her to have. We were blessed not only with our daughter, but with the woman that gave her life’s start. One thing I have come to realize through this incredible process is that everyone’s path to their child is different, but everyone ends up with the child meant to be theirs. We are not meant to know why some people have to struggle, but without our struggles, we wouldn’t have our daughter, and for that, I am so grateful. In those moments where you feel helpless, cling to hope—“the pain you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming”. I promise when you are on the other side and holding your child, it will all be worth it. There is something so sacred about entering into a relationship with a family who chooses you to raise their little one. If we are honest, it should be. It is meant to be kept close, held so sweetly and delicately. A true gift, regardless of what that relationship looks like in the future, the moment she lets go and you hold close, a bond is set. Unable to be broken by the wildness of the world. This is what I feel when I sit and reflect on Seth & Kelly’s story. They appreciate the sacredness, honor the sacrifice, and step into the gaps of brokenness to bring a bit of sweetness and light, but so fiercely. You see, Kelly is an adoptee herself. Her story gives her such a unique perspective on what love should look like in adoption. Her and Seth view adoption through a lens that most won’t get to experience, and to walk with them as they prayed, trusted, sacrificed, and loved so fiercely was such an honor. They trusted God’s sovereignty in confusion, deeply valued transparency & ethical standards, and waited with grace. Open hands, open hearts. That’s where joy is found in this process. They found that and more as they met the parents that chose them to raise their baby for forever. Experience the joy with them as you sit with their story. What a gift. What is the most impactful core memory we have ever experienced? Meeting our son. Absolutely nothing prepares you for that moment. Not my thirty plus years as an adoptee. Not the sixteen years praying for my future child’s birth mom, knowing one day I will adopt due to a childhood infertility diagnosis. Not the nine years Seth and I prayed together about adoption. Not the six years, praying to grow our family, including infertility treatments, miscarriages, and conversations about God’s plan for our family. Not the sixteen months being home study approved presenting time and again, adding new agencies along the way. Not the six days waiting in an Airbnb after driving all night when you get the call that “labor is imminent.” Not the twelve and a half hours of waiting and praying in the hospital waiting room with an incredible adoption support team as your child’s first Mama is laboring. Not the five minutes of praying in a hospital room, waiting to go meet your baby. Nothing prepares you for the moment you walk into a hospital room, a Mama you have never met is sitting holding a small, newly born baby and says, “Do you want to meet your baby?” And with tears in your eyes, hands on your face in shock, you shake your head yes. And she asks, “do you want to hold your son?” And in that moment you learn you are a boy mom, you have a son, and you squeeze your husband’s hand so tight. Nothing prepares you for walking over to this beautiful and courageous woman and hearing her say, “Here, he is yours. This is your son.” I held this tiny bundle of love, with his bright eyes, head full of hair. Our precious answer to prayer is here and I am in disbelief. I even asked, “is this real?” because it truly felt even better than any dream. We had never met or talked with our son’s first Mama before he was born. We knew of each other for less than two weeks. The whirlwind of those first few moments together are unimaginable. Every emotion goes through your soul. We are beyond thankful for the incredible relationship we have with our son’s first Mama and Daddy. We spent hours visiting with our son’s first parents at our Airbnb. We took pictures, shared stories, cried a lot, and prayed together. We text every day, call with updates after the pediatrician appointments, and catch up over Zoom. We are planning trips to see each other, and the first birthday invitation we mail will be to our son’s first parents. The love we have for each other came immediately and naturally, and the effort we put in to learning everything about each other is incredible. It is all for our son. This has not always been an easy route, but it is the right one for our family. As an adoptee myself, this relationship for our son means everything. Our son is more than we ever prayed for and a completely open adoption with his first parents is not one many adoptive families would be comfortable with, but it is perfect for our family.
Through our time with CAC, we leaned on MacKenzie for every single situation we received. We called, texted, and emailed. MacKenzie prayed for and with us. When our son’s story started unfolding and we received the call that we were chosen, our first text was to MacKenzie. She understands adoption. She is patient when we have questions. She is thorough when we ask for support. She is caring, careful, and encouraging. We received countless “not yet’s,” and while our journey to our son may never make sense on this side of Heaven, we can confidently say he was worth the wait. “Each day that I live, He gives more than I need. And I could never describe His goodness to me. If you ask how I make it day after day, there is only one thing I can say. It's been a long journey, but I have been blessed. Walking with Jesus, I have no regrets. He is so good to me, and I must confess. The way has been long, but I'm blessed.” On this side of our adoption journey, this song plays on repeat in our minds. We will spend the rest of our lives praising the Lord for His goodness in our lives! Our son is here through God’s guidance, love for our family, and plan for our lives. God is good, so good! -Kelly & Seth If you ever had the time to read through any adoption story, you would find that not one is ever like another. So many details, intricacies, personalities, and feelings. I like to think the Lord makes them extra special to share in glory and goodness from really tough and gut-wrenching places. Stories that start from the pits of hard, bringing two unfamiliar families together to love a single little being. Emily + Micah. Gosh, what a story. They have such a thirst for knowledge of how to do this whole thing well here on earth. How to uncover the broken pieces tenderly, hold space for the grief of a mama wanting desperately to give her baby the world, loving her well in the moments they didn’t know they would get to have, and setting aside their fears and comfort so she could experience that. Take a second to read their words, hear their hearts, and see the face of the sweetest little boy. Adoption is beautiful. In my experience, I have found that many people see adoption as a ‘Plan B’, however, I can say with confidence, that adoption was God’s ‘Plan A’ for us. Our goal was not to be pregnant, our goal was to be parents, and adoption is in no way inferior. I have been touched by adoption in numerous ways. Words cannot adequately express the full meaning this word holds. God grew my family through adoption, from many siblings and relatives to my son. Adoption has uniquely shown me more about God’s love for His people by choosing them to come into His family. He chose us before the foundation of the world. It displays His beauty, character, and is such a reflection of His love for us. God has used adoption to make more of Himself, and I am forever grateful for how it has changed me and my life and that we are not His ‘Plan B’. My husband and I started the adoption process with CAC in July of 2021 after miscarriage and infertility. We completed our home study by the end of August, and our home study agency told us that we were the fastest couple at getting in paperwork that they had seen in 20 years! We felt a sense of urgency, and looking back, the amazing birth Mom we were matched with found out she was pregnant with our son at this exact time. After presenting to multiple expecting moms, we felt discouraged. However, we knew that God was working all things out in His time and He would bring our baby at the right time. In January of 2022, we got a call that an expecting Mom picked us. We were so excited and began communicating with her. We had a virtual “pizza party” with her via FaceTime and got to know her better. She shared with us that she looked through a stack of profile books and stopped at ours. Something inside told her that we were for him. It was in that moment that the Lord melted our hearts together to be his parents. In March of 2022, we got a call that she was going into labor early. At this point, her baby boy was only 32 weeks gestation. After a 14 hour drive, we made it to the hospital. Being born at 32 weeks gestation is very early and the hospital staff wanted to prolong the pregnancy as long as possible. They wanted her stay in the hospital until he was 34 weeks gestation. We spent two weeks in the hospital with her. We made two 1000 piece puzzles and framed them. One for us to take home and one for her to take home. We played games, had movie nights, talked, and celebrated her birthday. It was such an amazing time and I am incredibly grateful for this time we shared. I will treasure it always. Finally, on March 29th, our precious bundle was born. It was a special moment shared between myself and my Sons birth Mom. I held her hand and told her how strong she is. We both cried together as we looked at the beautiful baby that had been born. I had the opportunity to cut the chord and my husband and I held our son for the very first time. Looking into his sweet face was miraculous. Every step of the way we saw Gods handiwork and how He orchestrated our son to come into our family. We are daily blessed by this wonderful gift. I can’t imagine it any other way! Tis’ the season to be thankful, amirite?
With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, there’s a part of me that has been eagerly waiting for this day to pass on through, a bit of turkey, a little bit of watching the Viking’s lose, a lot a bit of family and desserts, potentially watching people play games - fun fact about me, I never love playing games- and then, let’s sleep on it to bring in the most wonderful time of the year. Bring on the celebration of lights and pine and sweetness. The celebration of the Savior of the world, because if I’m really honest, I’m not sure what to say when it comes to my turn around the dinner table, answering the question, “What are you most thankful for this year?” I’ve sat with this for about a month now. Life doesn’t look like it used to or what it was supposed to be like when I imagined it in my dreams. Humans being humans. Expectations shattered. Multi-complex grief over the loss of what was supposed to be so sure and true. Maybe you’re there too. You’re in the pits of grief yourself. The adoption interrupted. You aren’t rocking the baby to sleep that you have been dreaming of. You lost someone so close and special. Your marriage is broken. Whatever holds the title to that grief for you this year, maybe it overwhelms this idea of ‘thankfulness’ for you as well. So you put that holiday face on - or Christmas face as we call it in my family- and speak out words that feel like they can meet the rest of the table’s. Something that will make you not feel like a terrible human for not feeling like you can answer it all honestly. Lord knows that’s me. Not because I’m not thankful for things in my life, because there are a zillion things to count. But because it feels like these disappoints are just so much bigger than my thankfulness can be. So I looked it up… Did you know that thankfulness is actually a feeling? It’s a reaction, so temporary and fleeting in response to temporary circumstances. Maybe you knew that, I honestly never really thought about it. So this day we celebrate in America every year really is so fleeting, isn’t it? We can sit with the turkey in the middle of the table and speak words of thankfulness for the things we have. But for the people in the back, like me, who hold onto their Christmas face, hoping they can skip their turn, what we can cling to and hold onto is not a fleeting feeling. Praise Jesus there is space for our wild worlds, our hurting hearts, and our unexpected craziness at that same table. It’s actually called gratefulness. Gratefulness is a state of being. It’s contentment in your circumstances. It isn’t synonymous with thankfulness. Gratefulness remains as thankfulness fades. Sure, being grateful can certainly start with thankfulness and sweet things, but it gives space for the grief too. It gives you a reserved seat at the ‘thankful’ table. You can sit there, no Christmas face, acknowledge that life really sucks right now, finding it to be hard to be thankful, but sharing in the gratitude of sure, consistent, and honey of life. So I’m celebrating in gratefulness tomorrow. When the feelings of thankfulness are hard to find, I will welcome the grief and the hard to the table, and be grateful that I get to sit there, no expectations. Grateful for the solid and sure, the consistency of the people I love most, and the hope of Jesus coming soon. You are more than welcomed to join me, I’ll save a seat for you. “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow” (Beattie, 1990) Beautiful things don’t always come easy. In adoption, the beauty to be found is so unique for every story. It is woven into the intricate details of brokenness. From infertility or unplanned pregnancy, to failed abortion or abuse. The beauty is hard to bring into focus in the very beginning. But as the story unfolds, there is a wild depth to the relationship created between the expecting family and the adoptive family, the giver and the chosen. Max and Kelly’s story is one of that wildness. Not in terms of crazy, but in terms of relinquishing a hold of control in a story they couldn’t. It is one of surrender to the Most High, hands and hearts opened to the unknowns. And a story of complete humility in loving a perfect, familiar stranger. Enjoy the words and story from Kelly’s perspective. It was a privilege and honor to be with their sweet family on this journey to sweet Luca. Adoption is beautiful, and not for the faint of heart. That is what we were told multiple times before we started our process of growing our family through adoption. We have two amazing biological sons and knew that we wanted to continue to grow our family, however carrying a child again was not a possibility. Our oldest son was born with special medical needs and we knew that through our experiences with him, we had something unique to give another special needs child. We started our journey with MacKenzie, who we fell in love with after just one phone call. We quickly got to work and did our home study, paperwork, classes, reading, and phone calls in a matter of two months. We knew from everything we read and heard that the waiting was certainly the hardest part, but for some reason I felt like God was telling us to be ready because our child was going to need us quickly. We became active in December 2021 and set up a get-to-know-you type call with one of our chosen agencies in January. We were having a wonderful chat and towards the end, I mentioned that we were in the process of updating our profile book to add a section about special needs. I think what she said next I will remember forever; “It’s funny you should say that. There was a baby boy born yesterday who is in the NICU and the family he matched with decided not to proceed.” I remember walking into Max’s office and saying, “It’s probably nothing, don’t get excited but…” From late that Friday evening to Monday was a whirlwind to say the least. We officially matched on Saturday, packed the car, left Texas on Sunday and arrived in Utah Monday, and ready to meet our son. I don’t think I have ever witnessed such a clear, intentional message straight from God before. There is not a doubt in our minds that He had his hand in scheduling that call at the perfect time, and giving us the resources to be able to leave at a moment’s notice. Our minds were so overwhelmed with all of the details that we didn’t even piece together the fact that our baby boy shared a birthday with our oldest son, who also had an extensive NICU stay. We were being prepared, through our experiences, to love him forever. We had the privilege of meeting our son’s birth mother when we arrived. She was still recovering physically and emotionally, but now also had the burden of having to get to know a new family; one she had not gotten to meet in person before the birth of her son; one that she had not prayed and cried over; one that was not in her original plan. I can’t even imagine how overwhelming that must have been for her, knowing that her son needed a family strong enough for the roller coaster ride of what NICU life brings. I will never forget the relief we saw in her eyes when we got to say to her, in person, we’re here, we’re ready, we love you, and we will always be here. She told us that she knew God had brought us there, at that moment, because we were the family meant for her son. She was thankful the other family left because it brought us to her. I will never forget that meeting. I will never forget being able to witness a sense of peace come over her and knowing that we played a small part in her beginning to heal. I know one day, our son will find peace in knowing how much she loves him and how much she went through so that he could find us. Philip + Hope. I remember the first time I had the privilege of speaking with them. It’s hard to imagine a sweeter family could exist. I had the honor of joining them on their second adoption journey with CAC in their waiting, little did they know that not long after our conversation, that their wait was about to come to quick end. After a 16 hour drive straight into a hurricane and a worldwide pandemic, they were able to hold their sweet baby boy. I was so encouraged by their hearts as they walked through this journey to their son. They lead with open hearts and hands, prayerfully considering each step. Philip + Hope, thank you for allowing me to walk alongside of you as your family became a party of f o u r. I can truly say no two adoptions are alike. The second time around, I felt confident that I had realistic expectations and much more patience than the first time. About 6 months in, I was faced with the fact that I had actually expected to be matched by then, and I no longer had patience. We had heard so many “no’s” that it felt defeating. This is where God walked with me further and helped me turn my eyes on Him. He graciously worked in my heart. His plans are far greater than mine, and I needed to be reminded of that again. I prayed for patience, and I prayed that I would not waste the precious time we had had left as a family of just three. Our consultant, MacKenzie, was a constant flow of encouragement, wisdom, and prayer. My husband and I leaned hard on her advice and input. She spent a lot of time walking us through different situations, our thoughts, and questions. She met everything with grace and calmness, and luckily that rubbed off on me just when I needed it. I had prayed the whole time that we would have another match that resulted in a quick birth and placement. When our son’s situation came through, it came with a few unknowns. Some of those unknowns had in fact convinced us to pass on many situations previously. This one felt different. My husband, always calm and steady in his decisions, knew immediately we should go for it despite the unknowns. So, we presented. That same evening we received a call that the expecting mother wanted to speak to us on the phone the following day. This was not an experience we were granted with our first adoption, so this was new and intimidating. Again, God led the way. We felt an immediate connection with her and I just kept thinking how kind and loving she seemed. It was hours after that call that she chose us, and four days later that she gave birth to her son who became our's. It was the whirlwind of crazy that I had prayed for. It took so long to get to this fast moment. The most surreal, loving, and memorable part of gaining another son was when his birth mother handed him to me herself. There was so much love and sacrifice in her heart and it made mine ache even through the joy. We spent the next day in a hospital room next to her's. I had the opportunity to speak with her one-on-one a handful of times. Those conversations are precious memories I will share with my son one day. Without a doubt, she loves this little boy with her whole heart. We feel honored to be chosen to be his parents. He is an answer to our prayers. His big brother dotes on him and has a very special bond with him already. While we move forward with joy in seeing our son smile at us and grow, we remember his birth mother’s words, her sacrifice, and her love. - Philip & Hope The decision to adopt can be incredibly intimidating. There are a tremendous amount of delicate and intimate intricacies to consider and weigh. But then, you take the leap. Jumping straight into the unknowns of what is one of the best and hardest roads you could walk on earth by welcoming a sweet, little one into your family but also having a front row seat to the most selfless and hardest decision that an expecting family can make.
I was there, deep in the unending Google searches, looking for the best people to lead me down this path. Asking Siri all the important questions on how to get started. And after finding closed doors internationally, my mind was truly spinning, sort of like those funny cartoon characters you see on Saturday mornings. I went to the meetings of local agencies, feeling uncertain if that was the path. It was there in the spinning and the uncertainty that I received a message from a friend who encouraged us to talk to friends who had walked this road with the help of Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC). My first question was, what in the world is an adoption consultant? This interaction led us to the sweetest gal, who would eventually become my consultant, my faithful warrior in prayer & encouragement, and my wealth of knowledge and peace when I needed it most. So why did I choose CAC to walk with us on the adoption journey to our son? A multitude of reasons really, allow me to speak to a few.
Choosing to work with CAC was the best option for my family. I aligned with the values and ethics, but also connected personally with our consultant. This journey is far too intimate and kingdom-building to not. If you are looking for more reasons to consider CAC to walk with you on your adoption journey and to see if it is a great fit for your family, I would love the opportunity to speak to you about it! Just maybe that call could be the peace you have been looking for in the midst of your own spinning. Failed. We’ve all been there. We’ve felt that sting of disappointment & burden of doubt. But in adoption, the label of 'failed' holds an entirely different meaning. It is built by delicate intricacies of a weighty decision, usually born from brokenness in some form. I’ve felt that, lived it, bought the t-shirt to prove it. And statistically speaking, a significant number of hopeful adoptive parents will feel it too. I still remember looking over the ocean watching the waves crashing onto the tiny grains of sand, as my hopes and dreams of what could have been shattered into a million pieces with one phone call. Failed. Sitting there with my face in my hands, asking all of the million questions about what I did wrong for her to change her mind. And as hard as it was, my response is, can you blame her? She took one look at her sweet, beautiful boy who grew inside of her and that she knows in ways no one else will and said that she needed to try. Powerful, really. Today, that’s not necessarily the space I want to speak to. Maybe someday we can do that. I would love it. And if you are reading this and are walking through a failed match, sit with me here. I promise it will be worth it. I look back at that time of absolute grief and instead of seeing tear stained cheeks & callused knees, I see sovereignty. God’s absolute sovereignty. Beauty from ashes. Gardens from graves. In Isaiah 46, Isaiah is writing to the people of Israel as their faith wavered between pagan gods and the Lord God. The people of Babylon, maybe you know that story. Isaiah shares God’s affirmations of His own uniqueness, lordship, knowledge, and control of the future. God’s rightful authority, power, freedom to bring about everything He intends to happen, and that nothing happens except what He purposes. God’s sovereignty. Isaiah desires them to hope in their future while feeling confident that God is for them in their present. And that’s what I see now. I look back at that space in my story, thanking God that we had a consultant that helped us see through the dust of the shattered pieces to the hope found in Jesus. Someone to walk me through the unknowns of trusting God to make something beautiful from that grief. Giving me the confidence to say ‘yes’ to what was next for me. That sweet, baby boy of her’s was never mine to hold and that’s okay with me. Because you see, I get to see the beauty of God’s sovereignty in the eyes of a boy I get the treasure of looking into every day. I see it when I look outside my window and see him planting a tree with his dad. I see it when the deepest dimples appear on his sweet face as he laughs. I see it when he plays with such wild imagination of castles, Spiderman, Buzz & Woody. I feel it when he hugs my neck and says, “I love you best”. Failed is a word we never like to hear, do we? We avoid, fear, and hide from it at almost every cost. But let me be someone to tell you that even in the deepest pits of grief and fear, in adoption and otherwise, that there is a place of safety and assurance. A place where failing is not the end of your story. Trusting in the absolute sovereignty of God looking back at your past, being held in your present, and giving you a hope for your future. ISAIAH 46: 9-11
9 Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. 10 I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ 11 From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about. |
AuthorMacKenzie Mygatt Archives
February 2023
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